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  • A WOMAN LIKE THE WIND


    There's
    something else
    scratching its long way
    through the dark labors of mystery.
    something
    is definitely going on
    and making all things very wrong
    with the picture.
    something is moving in the bushes,
    unseen until now.
    something disturbing
    and
    quite sinister.

    and
    could it
    quite well draw ruin
    to the entire notion of us
    getting married?

    there's
    some kind
    of disorienting density
    roaming at large
    and poking me very hard
    squarely in my ribs
    and
    gnawing all the way through
    my heart.
    I just can't help sensing
    a dark cloud coming in,
    can't help picking up
    a distant dialogue in the fog,
    maybe even another voice from afar

    or
    perhaps

    ANOTHER Shara

    locked
    deep inside
    her same exact body
    and
    quite possibly
    even her same mind,
    but
    as yet undesignated,
    causing me to hear words
    that she actually doesn't speak.
    for this woman can seem to be much
    like the wind
    blowing here and there,
    anywhere she wants.
    like wispy phantoms of lamentations

    crying out
    that this woman
    IS very much like the wind
    and
    therefore fearless
    of any real movement.
    but
    yet there's that voice I can hear
    coming from within
    the silent moments we share,
    those vacant seconds here and there
    that are way deep in between
    that affects me,
    as well as her comings and goings,
    her and me
    and
    all the to-and-fro
    and her sudden subtle posturing
    seemingly stuck
    inside of swollen circles
    which somehow chokes me
    with a mouthful
    of unanswerable questions.

    am I
    going insane?

    or is she?

    perhaps
    we're both delusional.
    what an attraction.

    or
    do I trust
    my own intuition
    by truly sensing that
    there are TWO different Shara's
    here?

    I've
    begun to ask myself
    that particular question
    far more and more
    lately.

    something is amiss

    and
    I know
    very well
    I'm hearing
    certain things
    I don't understand.
    or maybe they're just things
    I'm not ready to process as yet.

    but
    recently
    I've been frozen in fear
    about caving in to temptations
    of the moment...
    like getting married for instance
    just might be a clear path
    to disaster.
    and
    then trying
    to be rock-solid over-all
    is too much akin to holding hands
    with spineless ghosts
    of denial.

    my
    goddamn gut feelings!

    why her?

    and
    why now?

    for
    I love her
    so damn much,
    that I would marry her
    in a hot minute.

    and
    then again...
    I suppose I should ask
    the obvious question
    which is

    why not?

    my
    errant life
    hasn't exactly been
    a bed of lovely roses.
    after all,
    there are no guarantees
    to make me think
    it's all going to change
    now.
    some people
    get thrown curves.

    me?

    I usually get bricks.

    I know
    infatuations can be dangerous.
    and in LA they can often be deadly.
    but
    I'm hoping
    that my sensitivities
    are all one big mistake
    and
    that it all blows over
    in some unique way.
    I'm hoping it's something simple really,
    perhaps some wrong figuring
    on my part

    or
    something
    I've simply overlooked,
    like missing a key point in grammar
    locked in a figurative sentence
    or
    losing sight of a blown light
    at the very end of my landing strip.

    yet
    I'm still
    not quite sure
    just who I slept with
    last night

    good as it was.

    and
    that has become a problem
    I just don't want to look at...

    a problem
    that has landed well
    right in my face.


    ~~~~~~~~


    (c)2014 Miles Ciletti
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