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  • Chapter 15


    I've got
    some doubts,
    I've put them
    on the back burner
    for now.
    being nervous
    is quite natural,
    I believe everything
    will sort itself out eventually.
    at least
    I keep telling myself that
    while trying hard not to worry.

    I choose
    to go along with
    Shara's thinking
    agree with her at having
    a short engagement
    by shooting for
    an early September wedding.

    of this
    done on my knees,
    mind you,
    with ring in hand.

    I even
    make it simple
    by allowing myself
    to be her object of desire
    for all of her various gratifications
    and hidden delights,
    try like hell
    at grabbing some moments
    in being a recipient for a few of my own.

    I guess
    I can more than afford
    the risk of living
    in French Normandy architecture
    with most rooms painted forest green
    and have the space and the time
    and still be an E-ticket set dresser.

    I know one thing:
    I'd be much better off
    than I've ever been.

    and I as a near-perfect couple
    could build a wonderful life together
    and live towards a great future.
    we could grow old side-by-side,
    and do it most graciously.
    in fact,
    I might even have the chance
    to cash in on a few of my own dreams,
    such as being a writer of some merit
    and deal with the conviction later.
    I could do all of that
    and even more
    in far greater luxury than I'm used to

    and have

    a profoundly
    beautiful and loving woman
    as my partner.

    I'm all in,
    I'm all here,
    standing at the door,
    at the ready to open it wide
    for just such an occasion

    nervousness be damned!


    (c)2014 Miles Ciletti
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