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  • This story is long overdue. I started it in summer but as the title says - procrastination. This is just awful!

    What a strong sounding word it is! In Estonian we do not have one word to illustrate the condition so well. I remember when I first heard it and thought - what a fascinating word! A relative of mine, from the US, used it. Little did she know she actually diagnosed me.

    We all procrastinate, I am sure! But I am the Queen of Procrastination. The Empress actually (whichever is ranking higher) and I hate myself for that. But on the other hand - I just can't help it either!

    To illustrate my condition I have a good story to tell.

    The photos are of my daughter's graduation dress, which I made. But that is not the point.

    Already in September 2013, I knew I had to make the dress. We bought the fabric at the beginning of October. I got the ribbon in November ..... The graduation date was June 21, 2014 .... and I started the dress on 19th June! Actually, not the dress but the sample one because I didn't have any patterns and I had to make those as well. So I made a sample dress first to see if it would fit. I started cutting the actual dress 20th and finished in the morning on 21st June. WHY?

    When I got done with the first round in the morning of the 21st, about 4 a.m. I hadn't figured out how to attach the ribbon to the hemline. But I was so tired I couldn't see straight and actually felt ill. Like when you have a terrible hangover!

    So, I was up again, at 6.30 and lying in bed thinking about the hemline and ribbon and how stupid I was. Then it hit me and I got up to finish the dress. Eva had to be at school at noon. But what if it hadn't hit me? What then?
  • Tell me, good people - why do I keep doing it to myself? I actually felt ill on he graduation day. Didn't show it though but oh my, was I tired or what!

    When I was younger and we had all those performances with our choir, I made all the costumes myself and I finished them the night before the performance. We always did very well and everybody joked it was because I had worked all night. But the truth is - it just happened this way! And it keeps on happening! WHY?

    Is it a mental condition? Is there a remedy? I have finished project applications and translation work the night before I was supposed to mail them. Only once there was a slight problem when on the 24th hour the electricity went out. I had 20 minutes until the deadline and we drove to the nearest point where I knew there would be good WiFi connection and I managed to mail the documents 7 minutes before the deadline.

    Do I need the adrenaline rush? I don't think so. Maybe it is some subconscious state that requires it. I know I should be more conscientious but I just can't.

    Is there help for me or do I have to humbly accept the situation and consider it to be my handicap?
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