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  • People say the darnest things. Upon learning that I am an atheist they have said stuff like "I feel sorry for you" and "I just don't get it." An atheist friend had someone say to her "but where do you get your morals from?" Seriously? It seems that being an atheist is somehow worse than believing lies, fairytales and even batshit crazy 'religions' like Scientology. Maybe people don't know enough of us to really judge. Maybe, I am judging too?

    Not believing anything puts me in a weird situation where I don't really belong to anything. Its both freeing and isolating. I have no set structure for life, no holidays, no places that I belong to. In essence, I have no people. This is great, because that means I do not side with any people. I can judge conflicts objectively, see both sides of the story even if the story seems one sided to those only seeing it from the point of view of their own people. This is of course, also a bit isolating. People crave anchors, structure, community and understanding and I suppose, I will never fully have any of these things.

    I used to believe that all religions were bad, had no purpose, that people who believed could not understand science and that they needed to believe because they were unhappy or broken. This is of course, not true. While there is a real and factual association between less religious countries, education level as well as economic level, on a personal level, it gets a bit more murky. People who go to church and belong to groups do tend to be happier, income or education level non-withstanding. It sounds really nice actually, but its also something I can never embrace now.

    I can however, embrace everyone. Being an atheist allows me to be friends with anyone from Jews to Muslims to Catholics not in spite of my lack of beliefs, but BECAUSE of them. If people only saw how SIMILAR they all are, its almost laughable the differences people fight over. I am observing all of these things and they all just blur into one big picture for me. I didn't even know the facts behind my family's history until I was 10 and about to immigrate to America. Its weird I suppose, to imagine someone growing up without church, or the Bible or Torah or whatever, but that is how I grew up. I find it strange when I see little kids be baptized or dressed up for church, they have no choice. I wonder what would happen if they all grew up objective? Is it even possible? But as mentioned, that would mean giving something up as well.

    I give up peace of mind and magic in some ways. I don't believe my good actions will be rewarded or that all bad people will be punished. I have no comfort in prayer, no belief of a savior, no safety blanket, nothing. Its not always scary though, its just different. Its what you see is what you get and that is just fine.

    If there is anything I want people to understand about atheists is that we are not against changing our minds. We are malleable and open minded. We just cannot justify believing in things that are blatantly un-natural and go against known fact. We do find nature and the earth beautiful and magical (in our own way) we get lost in the warm rays of the sun and in the details of dew on morning grass. All of that is fascinating and wonderful and we want to protect it. We are generally pacifist and friendly. I blatantly disagree with the statement that if you don't believe in something you will fall for anything. Its the opposite. I don't believe if anything and I will not fall for anything either. I don't believe in anything strongly enough to defend it blindly. I do believe perhaps against my better judgement, that it is possible for people to get along one day and I do hope that includes believers not treating us like some abnormalities or broken people that they have to fix.

    We atheists are not broken, the world is in its current state and its not because of religion its because we are human and thus, truly flawed.


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    Week 20 of 52 - Story a Week in 2014
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