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  • I don't condone drugs and do not recommend it to anyone. It is my choice of now. I have had someone die here from an overdose of heroin and people say this place is "hot", meaning the cops and FBI are watching this place severely. But as the police get better in catching people, the drug dealers and drug addicts get better in not getting caught. I am a drug addict and I am not proud at all being one. I love to help people no matter what state I am in.

    And I apologize for my absence if it matters to anyone that I was gone. I am not trying to get sympathy or any judgment and I know you guys wouldn't judge me or criticize me in any form.

    But this might be one story that will be written while the next one may be far ahead in time, if time exists.... ha ha ha!! A stupid joke!!

    I am not looking for loves either. It isn't the reason why I write. Like you people I write out of passion and feel free while I do so. I haven't read any of your stories in a long time, and I feel ashamed because all of your work are so great and full of life. It is something I wonder how so may gifted writers can just come up with something so fantastic.

    I miss you cowbirders, I truly do!! But I have issues I need to fix within myself and I need to before I become a total mess. Yes, I am hooked on heroin and cocaine and other drugs. It is what I choose to do right now but I know for a fact I will not be doing it for long.

    My roommate left and I have four people living here with my permission where DMH does not allow non DMH clients to live here.

    I let these people stay here because I feel that they need a second chance. I feel that here in my apartment, where many people say that my place is a safe and warm place, that people can feel safe for once. The guys here feel no one will take their girl or just feel that they have a place to live because they are all homeless. I feel as though even though I am an addict I can still help others with the same issue to give them a life of safety and peace. Maybe people may not see what I am doing but I know what I am doing now. All these people have been in jail for a long time and I can see that life has hardened them. What I am trying to do is give them a place where they feel free and safe from their harsh life with a lot of respect. They all need respect and be talked to properly. There are two pregnant girls here and I respect the men for staying with their baby's mother. I love you all so much though. I feel a connection that connects all of us together in a world of freedom and peace. What we need is to let people do what they want as long as they don't hurt others. It's not about death or life. It is the inner self that needs to be molded into a self that will be nourished and be full of joy. People have seen and been a victim of cruelty in many forms. So even a friendly gesture to feel as though they can be themselves is a positive place to be. So I help any way I can. I can see that it isn't about getting high or doing drugs but something they need to feel better as of right now. I am going to the clinic tomorrow (methadone or suboxone). I am happy now that I know what I am doing. I can see the change in people as I give them a friendly gesture of true friendship within themselves as I smile and say yes you can stay here for the moment.

    Life and death

    Does not matter

    In life and death

    Only a place where the soul

    Can learn to be free and cleansed

    Of their bad karma

    A twirl of a straw

    Picked as if it matters

    Only to see that you are 'it'

    Is nothing but something that does not exist

    No one is it or not it

    The only thing that matters is the heart

    That can twirl into a dance

    Where many have seen

    Inside of themselves

    To find it lost

    Our child hood love and joy

    All lost in the wind

    As they try to inhale the bitter sweet taste of freedom

    Before the world has changed them

    Into a soulful pain

    I can only suffer to see

    Others die and bring back their souls to life

    Of beauty and love

    And the only thing that is preventing this

    Is themselves

    So God Bless those of ugly and beauty

    For everyone is God's children

    To see that love will exist

    In many forms

    Within each soul


    ----Love Ya All!!

    -----Smonkey (My nick name)-Andy Young
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