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  • From early childhood my way of coping in the world was to get lost in books and to write. Books and words were my compass, my way of finding north in a chaotic world. My pen and journal never failed me. After my son's suicide, every time I tried to write it seemed I was writing in invisible ink. For the first time in my life there were no words. It lasted several years until a close friend suggested I enroll in a writing workshop at the community college. The professor asked each of us why we were taking the workshop. When he came to me I remember responding that I just wanted something to come out when I touched pen to paper. It was a process not an event but by mid-term thanks to the nurturing embrace of the angels in that classroom, my voice was returning. One night I went home and for the first time I found my pen sobbing onto the page with these words.

    Since you left this earth
    on the burst of a bullet
    I sing my sorrow to a stone
    and wonder
    will I know you when forever comes?

    I still don't know the answer to that question but I do know that what I longed to do from childhood was not a mistake. I believe we come into this world with a particular gift or talent that equips us to deal with anything our journey presents. I believe it's the voice of the divine within me, guiding me to heal, to help and to find fulfillment. It deserves my deepest attention and gratitude.
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