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  • I won't tell you about how much potential you have. You already know this. You struggle to pick the one way in which you can develop and express this potential. Don't struggle. It will not come in the form of the right college course or field of work. It will come in every conversation you have with another or yourself. In every relationship and action. In every choice, every word and each thought. It will express through your eyes and your smile. It will grow through your breath and your silence.

    As for relationships, you will seek your happiness from the men in your life. You will try to find your worth, your value, your beauty, and your own love through that of men. They can not give you this. They do not have any of the answers you seek. Their inability to provide you with what you want will only frustrate them and pain you. You have these answers. No one else. You are beautiful. You are brilliant. You are kind.

    It is ok if you stumble. Even if you slide head-first to the mud floor of the ravine. You are never lost and the peril that you think you have found is the very teacher that will make you a diligent student and wise woman. Spend no time on blame and shame.

    Know that when it feels too much, nature has your medicine. It is ok to be alone. In fact, one day you will savour the silence and in the aloneness you will find your value, beauty, grace and love, returning to it often so you may in turn pour it out into your relationships. You will be pushed and pulled by those around you but in the silence you will always return to you. You are your own source of happiness. When it feels too much, lean on nature, let her hold you up.

    Listen to your heart. Follow it. Even if it whispers, "Don't go to school, go to France." Recognize love, the pure kind, the bright sources. Honour them and let them honour you. Be gentle with yourself and others. You are strong. You came into this world strong. There is no need to prove it every day.

    Life will change. What seems unbearable one day will eventually become forgettable. Do not think any one moment determines your life. Likewise, what seems celebratory one day will become mundane the next. A mountain becomes a mole hill in the rear-view mirror as you move away from it. Remind yourself, in pain and in joy, "this too shall pass."

    Once in a while, let life come to you. You are capable of great things, again, no need to prove this every day. Show up and let life surprise you. Notice the beauty in every moment. Even if you have to reach for it at times. Look for it. It is there. See it.

    Please write. For yourself. Write.
    Write because it will show you the way. Your own words, your view of life will show you the way to you. It will help life make sense, not in the way anyone else can explain it or define it or describe it, but in the one unique way that is yours. Writing will free you and heal you and nourish you.

    If nothing else, remember this, things will always work out. You have a beautiful life ahead. I love you.
    42 Year-Old Me.
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