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  • The life jacket
    He said it wasn't my house anymore and to get out; that he didn't want to see me or hear my voice so I moved into a tent beside the house. For over a year I lived outside on the ground in the heat and the rain and the cold. It wasn't terrible. It was safe.
    I woke in the mornings to the sounds of birds singing and the morning light filtering through the trees. At night looking at the moon through the curved side of the tent a cross appeared to overlap the moon. I'd align myself with the cross; I asked God if He saw me. He said, "Yes." It was painful but it was lovely at the same time.
    At night I poured over catalogs of kayaks with accessories that would allow me to manage by myself. I would escape and learn to be dependent on no one except God. I bought a life jacket at Wal-Mart. I wore it around the yard even though there was no water. It brought me hope.
    Then he sold my car but later the judge decided that it really was my house and he gave me a new car; a friend gave me a kayak to wear with my life jacket. I was free.
    In the dark of the night I still have fears, fears that I will be abandoned but not left. I tell my good husband and he assures me it will never happen. It's crazy but recently I awoke and it became very clear what the life jacket was about. I feared I would drown but I did not drown, not at all.
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