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  • Earlier into the week, I remembered that this day would be coming around. A part of me was scared that I would forget it, but another part of me, didn't want to remember it. All day my brother, Brian, was on my mind and it wasn't until now, 9:46 pm, that I remembered it was the day.

    It's a Saturday night, but I stayed in and ended up watching the film, Philadelphia. At the very end where Tom Hank's character dies, it hit me. Today was the day my brother passed away 4 years ago, so I start to cry, because I miss him, and, because after watching a film about justice, I remember that my brother only received justice through death. This day, his death, and so called justice is day that always brings happiness and pain. I'm happy he is no longer suffering and that he is finally a free man. He's free from prison gates and from his mental illnesses. He has the skies to soar, as much space as he wants to spread his wings, no voices to haunt him by asking a question he doesn't have the answer to and the voices are gone.

    My writing may sound like I believe in after life or heaven, but I'm actually in a neutral state about that. I don't feel the need to make a decision on my beliefs. Heaven and after life are irrelevant now, because I am here in this life, so I'm going to enjoy it. When I die, I'll figure out the truth about religion, death, after life, heave, hell, or whatever it is people believe in. I just like to thank that my brother is somewhere living the most beautiful life, because he wasn't granted one here on this earth and it seems so unfair.

    I'm so thankful that I can cry, because it releases so much and as much as you miss and love someone, you can't hold onto all of those emotions. You have to let them go. Crying is not always a bad thing. I don't understand why people try to stop others from doing it, so if you need to cry, do it, and don't be ashamed.

    I love you Brian with all my heart.


    Your Sister
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