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  • i was in a dennys with my friends
    after the bars had closed
    the girl i had my only one night stand with
    was there too, with her friends

    i don't know her reasons
    for having sex with a stranger
    mine was my heart
    a girlfriend had broken up with me
    and promptly left the country
    on a “honeymoon” to Bali
    with a stranger
    at least to me

    the one night stand girl
    never came to my table
    i never went to hers
    though she furiously texted me the whole time
    she asked me to come over
    for a second night stand
    then called me an asshole
    for not wanting to

    the truth was i just wasn’t into it
    we met at a gay club
    i was drunk
    i think she was flattered
    she got a gay guy to make out with her
    maybe her beauty was capable of conversion
    but i wasn’t gay

    we went back to her place
    and i wanted passion
    to wash over me
    to take over
    i really wanted that
    but i just felt depressed
    that a naked girl
    who i didn’t know
    was on top of me
    i didn’t even know
    what things would make her laugh

    her hands were in her hair
    all over her body
    mine were by my side
    i wanted to disappear
    into the bed
    just sink into it
    and come out somewhere else
    somewhere i would realize
    i can't use somebody else
    to heal my own heart
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