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  • I fought this period of adulthood for longer than I'd like to admit. I'm talking about the loss of certain friendships. It's not that something dramatic happened; we just grew up, moved on with our lives and and began losing compatibility.
    I mourned the friends who stayed behind, sometimes feeling lost and confused, without really knowing why or what happened, but now that I allowed myself to think about it I agree it makes sense that life led us down different paths.

    I remember, sometime when- during 8th grade- I tried to write down the names of all my friends in a wooden trunk I found on my farm and not finding enough room to write them all. That innocence of not distinguishing between friends, acquaintances, colleagues and former colleagues was delightful. It was also nice not to know that the trunk would never again be so full of names. If I knew it at the time I would have been very sad.

    But now I know that it's not a bad thing. The friends I have are the ones I want and the ones who would be missed if they were gone. They're the ones who stay even when life insists on pulling us in opposite directions. They're the ones who are with me even if they live thousands of miles away. They are the ones who do not ignore our messages, even when all we want is to know is if they are okay.

    I get so happy when I am able to resume friendships with people who I think have left my life that I don't even ask why they left in the first place. I do not know nor care. All I know is that if they need me now, I'm here.

    Sometimes I think about everything that I like and admire about each of my friends and that if all those qualities could exist in one human being at the same time, that person would be unacceptably perfect. Perfect in such an annoying way that I'm relieved that none of my friends gather them all at once.

    The truth is that they all have something admire and would also like to have.
    I'd like to be that person who says what he thinks without fearing the consequences.
    I'd like to be the one who goes after what she wants without hesitation.
    I'd like to be the one everyone loves unconditionally and nobody ever resents no matter what.
    I'd like to be the one who continuously improve and continues to acquire enviable skills.
    I'd like to be the one who looks amazing in anything and with any haircut.
    I'd like to be the one that always looks good in photos.
    I'd like to be the one who brightens any room they enter.

    And whenever I'm with them I feel like I'm closer to achieve these goals, as if being with them would make me a better person. I think part of that is what defines friendship and I can only hope that someone thinks of me that way.

    And then there are other things I cannot explain, such as the need to photograph my friends, especially when I catch them off guard. I do not know if it's just them or if it's the same with everybody else's friends but mine look amazing in photos I take when they do not aske me to. And I love those photos and to store bits of moments we spent together. A lot of friends are missing in these photos, but if all goes well there will still be a long time to correct this.
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