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  • A lonly old man’s advice to young lovers:

    I’ve been saving this for Valentines Day, it’s been in my tumblr drafts for months now, just waiting… Celebrating love is a wonderful and exhilarating thing, but we all need to understand that love is a reward only, and to earn it takes hard work and commitment, especially commitment. The latter has become unpopular in today’s world, and hard work is predominantly avoided by all but a few. Love has suffered worldwide for this, and so have lovers. I’ve had three long term relationships in my life, but if it were my choice I’d only have had one.

    I understand commitment. I believe in it. I live by it.

    All three of my love relationships ended when the women in my life wanted to make changes in themselves and their situations. They thought that the ‘luster’ of our love had faded, and a change of scene would make their lives richer. All three of these women failed in their quests.

    They were dissatisfied with their own lot in life, not with me, but thought me complacent for not making their lives better for them. They thought I took them for granted. I didn’t, but all I could do is love them.

    It was never in my power to make anything of someone else, all I could promise is to stand by them no matter who they became. The becoming was all up to them.

    In all three endings there was one phrase that resounded the same note from each of them; “Sometimes Love’s not enough.”

    In a sense, they were right, love isn’t enough. Without commitment, when the love falters, and at times it will, relationships crumble for lack of a foundation. It’s steadfast commitment that makes a lasting relationship, not love. Love is only the introduction to a pairing of souls, and a reward later as it returns stronger, and to a full bloom at random times in two people’s life together, but only if the commitment is strong enough to make the relationship survive the drought times and winters that will undoubtedly happen.

    Love is the bloom on a rosebush, and commitment is the bulk of the bush, if not the whole garden it resides in. It’s the structure that supports the flower, and grows more blossoms with time. If one abandons the garden, or abuses the bush, when that first bloom fades, they’ll desert, and they’ll never know the full potential of the bush, or the full beauty of the garden, or the roses that were once theirs.
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