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  • I remember this day so clearly. I remember the intense heat, the length of the hours, the pretty dress mummy had gotten me had flowers and flared very satisfyingly when I spun. There was a lot of spinning. The stage speakers made things a little too loud. My parents nearby prepared things for the music festival that was something to do with the nightclub they worked in, dad in a silly sombrero, I took mine off, too hot for hats. The novelty wore off. Keeping myself occupied with no real purpose and no other children around. If now people call me a loner, aloof, independent then I suppose days like this helped me to like my own company and isolate myself into my own mostly self-entertaining sphere. But right then it was a long uneventful day as 'entertainment' events go.

    But. One cannot be uncheered by a balloon.

    Later that ability to be at ease in my own company, to isolate into a private world I could control within the outer world I couldn't, become a survival tactic, one I still retreat into to avoid life if I'm honest and not always a healthy pursuit. I only realised where that behaviour stems from looking back at this photograph today. So many things integral to our personality have such simple roots. Traits expanding like baloons to cheer us when life lets us down.

    One cannot be uncheered by a balloon. But only if you hold the string of the balloon and it isn't holding you.
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