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  • In the moments I am so close to skipping town. Leaving my heart in the hallway. My profession on a back burner. Just because. Days can be or seem hard. Life a bit boring. Ground hog day seeming more and more of my current reality. Office politics and red tape not worth attempting to step over. Other jobs more enticing. New buildings or skyline more beautiful. I remember. While a new country would be liberating. A new job thrilling and happily challenging. A different man willing to take that risk, be afraid, and still, still, make the jump into vulnerability, may be just around the corner or continent. Skipping town doesn't solve much. What resolves my eagerness to leave? My eagerness to live. In this moment wherever that may be.

    So for now I'll skip in a new direction, towards a coffee shop I never go to. I'll pay attention when the snow falls outside my window and go step into it. I'll lie down beneath it and let it fall on my frozen face and body. In the middle of the night. I'll leave my heart, but not in the hallway. I'll leave it on the street in the heart of a stranger passing by. While I smile and walk ahead. I'll try and think of as many things that scare me and do them anyway. That red tape? I'll find reasons to cut it. I'll deliberately step over it, ever so gracefully, but with determination to change the politics that keep me stagnant and jaded. I'll plan a short trip to a place I love. Far away. In a different country where I don't know the language well. Where I can feel uncomfortable but safe. In knowing that every feeling I've ever had in this life time is fleeting. Like a snow flake that quickly melts on my eyelids and my lips while I grin. Gliding my legs through this winter forest I love too much to leave.
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