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  • Last week I went to the hardware store to get keys made and buy some tape. The proprietor did not like my line of questioning about getting tape to stick to cement, and responded by yelling at me, “I don’t know what to tell you, you’re just not listening! The answer is no! I can’t say it any other way!”

    Now, I do not respond well to being yelled at. But I pulled myself together, puffed my chest out, and retorted “Sir, you should not be so rude to your customers!” The old man, about 65 years old with a thick Long Island accent seemed to appreciate this. And after about 5 minutes of him firing questions at me and me firing back answers, we were friends.

    “You know what I’m gonna do to make this up to you?” He asked. “I’m gonna give you a bagel. I bring ‘em every week from Long Island and I’ve got sesame, onion…”

    And then he told me a dirty joke about a rabbi in a cemetery.
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