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  • My daughter is now over 3 months old. In so many ways she's changed dramatically, making incredible progress. In others, it's been an uphill battle to say the least. Sleep is one of those. As I've said before, she simply doesn't like to sleep. After too many nights of waking up every 1-2 hours, my wife and I had enough. Last night, we let her cry. This is what she sounded like at 3am.

    It was a painful decision. It didn't go well. The entire time, we were suffering listening to her. It's hard to explain if you haven't experienced it - but hearing your own child crying affects you physically. You feel it in your gut, and you literally feel it in your heart - in the left-center of your chest. It's an amazing evolutionary adaptation, but it certainly did not feel like one last night.

    I've discovered something in my 3 months as a parent. First, there are no right answers. I've read many, many books. But it turns out every child is different. Second, many people have strong opinions; at best they will second-guess you, at worst they will tell you you're being cruel and abusive. Finally, I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to make a lot of them. The only thing I can do is try my best, trust my instinct (and more importantly my wife's instincts) and keep trying. I'm terrified of being a bad parent, of doing something to damage my child emotionally, intellectually, or neurologically.

    I've read so many books, but not one of them was an instruction manual for my child. I wish they came with those.
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