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  • ‘Can I leave my stuff here?’

    He wanted to go play frisbee. We were seated in the grass in the park outside our high school, the sun was golden. He had a lavender sprig tucked behind his right ear.

    That smile. I’ll never forget it.

    Warm, kind, eager to please. Somehow I knew that the next two years would be his smile.

    Days, nights, weeks, months. We fell in love.

    We fucked, innocently. We talked of nothing, infinitely. We walked our hometown streets, endlessly. We saw our future, fearlessly.

    I went off to college. I discovered we had ‘nothing in common.’ I felt myself wiser, bolder, stronger. I broke his heart. I turned cold and awkward whenever we ran into each other. His smile remained warm and kind, the sprig of lavender still tucked behind his ear.

    If we do realize, it’s almost always too late. I realized years later when it was my turn. He was the one who was strong enough to love after loss. I apologized, and it wasn’t too late.

    Thank you for a beautiful first love. It was everything it should have been.
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