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  • I have always been tenderhearted - like, to the extreme. It has gotten better as I've older - I stick up for myself and others more - but I'm still too often affected by things that I see or hear or even tell myself.

    I love hearing my Mom talk about when I was very little and I would go across the street and play with the kids in our neighborhood. I'm talking 2-3 years old. The other kids were a little older than me and sometimes they wouldn't like having a toddler following them around and they would say something mean to me or ask me to go back to my house. (Understandable.)

    I would get so devastated in these moments that I'd run home crying and my Mom would always say, "What's a matter, Ginny? Come talk to me. Tell me all about it." And we'd talk it out and she'd make me smile and I'd go about my toddlerly business.

    Evidently, this happened enough times that. before long, when I'd get upset by something - I'd run to my Mom and, without giving her a chance to ask me what was up, I'd say "Momma, come talk to me" through my tears.

    And she would. She would set me on her lap and talk to me and tell me that I was sweet and funny and smart and beautiful. And she would help me believe in myself again and I would carry on.

    Today I was having one of those low moments. It doesn't come often - but when it does - it's a doozy. I couldn't think of a single good thing about myself to tell myself. I needed to stop the negative buzzing in my head. I mentioned my feelings to my sister, whom I adore and she told my Mom...

    So my Mom calls me at work and starts singing as soon as I pick up the phone. Singing some sweet., sweet nonsense about me being her beautiful baby and about how much she loves me. My step dad chimes in "Good morning, gorgeous!" and I just burst into tears and she had to let me go "so you can stop crying." You'd be surprised how many of our conversations end like that. We're a sensitive family. :) We appreciate texting because fingers can't cry.

    I wonder if I will ever outgrow that need to talk to my Mom and have her set me right in my mind and in my heart.

    What the hell will I do when she is no longer here?
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