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  • Before I became pregnant, I thought there was no way I would have children. The family joke was, "Don't ask Denise to babysit, she'll tie them up and you'll never see them again." In the late 80's and early 90's I was a self-proclaimed 'Me Generation' kid. I was fully prepared to dwell in my egotism and suck all the life I could before going into the dark void called old-age. At 19 I thought the world would bow down before me and nothing as mundane as motherhood would get in my way.

    I was wrong...

    As the family made remarks about choices and plans for the baby boy they just knew I would have, I secretly began to fall in love with my daughter. Friends and family purchased gender-neutral blankets and some even managed to sneak blue one-sies into gift boxes; as if to say, "You don't know anything. Only boy children would dare be born here." Little did they know that I would nightly whisper to her as she turned in my swollen belly, "You and I have a secret. You will be perfect and they will fall in love with you but I am the only one who has loved you from the beginning."

    Kami was born on the morning of the fifth day of labor pain. She was stunning and I was right. They all fell in love with her immediately.

    ...but I had loved her first.
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