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  • "The mother placed the little head in her hands. A crumpled short skirt hung from the braces and two little sticks planted into the patent shoes. The baby fell and scratched her leg. The sky was full of rain. The mass of clouds formed a fat lump, encircling the sun. The mother bent the shadow of the crucifix that hung on a leash. The sun had disappeared. The eyes were stern, the voice high-pitched: "You must take care of yourself, you barely sustain yourself. You're a skeleton." The Cross shone.

    How many dances of death! The warning reverberated in the mirror. Days passed, and months too. The mirror's oval gold frame contained her less and less. A twisted foliage's ogive was on the top, like a half- opened eye. Caution on the steel chute, the fierce wall, the asphalt could tear the feet, the world was a forest of pinnacles and blades.The races on the sand, arms gripped to the railing, even the walks under the subway shelters ominously loomed. The paint peels off, the corners are sharp and infected. Insects lurk everywhere, hatching the interstices. Nails and prickles, angles, an obtuse order.

    Now Serena sat staring at the window. Patients played with the air, kicking eachother, parrying those of the attendants. The insane with their heads inclined, formed froth in their eardrums. What had changed? The slender wrist had become thicker; no one could move her where she didn't want to go. What was Serena looking for? She had earned the only victory of her own existence. Her legs, permanently closed by a huge roll of opaque mass, deformed the tendons. Her legs' capillaries exploded like jellyfish under the weigh of purple fat. Her swollen palms could hardly clench the cold and haggard flesh. Her huge frame was evident, disconcerting, but she didn't feel ungainly. Her eyes and her mouth were crevices without a direct expression. Her dark black pupils swallow up more than her mouth could. Serena remained untouched and chubby. Long raven hair fell onto her pale shoulders. A sheet, sown with lace, covered the mass of her huge breasts. The flesh overhung unexpectedly. Light and inflamed eyelids closed the black pupils. She rarely spoke, attracting the disgust of all. Every social relationship was a whip, a blow. She defended her body and her body defended her. It was enormous, it grew like a bastion of pulp. Could she wish for better symmetry and balance?!

    Recommendations are important, you must follow them. She was well protected, she would never fall again, she wouldn't hurt herself anymore. Under the double chin, a crucifix sank into her flesh, almost disappearing entirely like a blade.”





    "La madre prese tra le mani la testolina. Dalle bretelle pendeva una gonnellina crespa e due stecchetti piantati nelle scarpette di lacca. La piccola era appena caduta, sbucciandosi la gamba. Il cielo era pieno di pioggia. Le nuvole ammassate formarono una grassa escrescenza, cingendo il sole. La madre piegò l’ombra al guinzaglio del crocifisso pendulo. Il sole era scomparso. Gli occhi erano severi, la voce acuta: “Devi proteggerti, ti sostieni a malapena. Sei uno scheletro!”. La croce luccicava.

    Quante danze macabre! L’ammonimento riverberava nello specchio. Passavano i giorni, i mesi. La cornice ovale e dorata dello specchio la conteneva sempre meno. Nella sommità un’ogiva intrecciata di fogliame, come un occhio schiuso. Cautela sullo scivolo d’acciaio, il muretto feroce, l’asfalto poteva lacerare i piedi, il mondo era una selva di cuspidi e lame. Le corse sulla sabbia, le braccia serrate alla ringhiera, persino le passeggiate sotto le pensiline del metrò incombevano minacciose. La vernice si scrosta, i bordi sono taglienti e infetti. Gli insetti si annidano ovunque, covano gli interstizi. Chiodi e spine, angoli, un ordine ottuso.

    Ora Serena sedeva fissando la finestra. I pazienti dell’istituto giocavano col vuoto, prendendosi a calci, parando quelli degli inservienti. Folli con la testa reclina, la bava raccolta nel timpano. Cos’era cambiato? L’esile polso ispessito; nessuno poteva spostarla dove lei non voleva. Cosa cercava Serena? Aveva conseguito l’unica vittoria della propria esistenza. Le gambe perennemente chiuse da un enorme rotolo di massa opaca, deformavano i tendini. I capillari delle gambe esplodevano come meduse sotto il carico del grasso violaceo. I palmi gonfi si chiudevano a stento sulla carne macilenta e fredda. La stazza era evidente, imbarazzante, ma non si sentiva goffa. Occhi e bocca erano pertugi privi di un’espressione diretta. Le pupille nerissime fagocitavano più di quanto potesse la bocca. Serena rimaneva intonsa e tonda. Sulle spalle pallide lunghi capelli corvini. Un lenzuolo, tenuto da merletti, copriva la massa dei seni enormi. La carne cascava in lembi improvvisi. Palpebre leggere e infiammate chiudevano le pupille nere. Parlava raramente, attirando il disgusto di tutti. Ogni rapporto sociale era una sferza, un colpo. Difendeva il corpo e il corpo la difendeva. Era enorme, cresceva come un bastione di polpa. Avrebbe potuto desiderare simmetria ed equilibrio migliori?!

    Le raccomandazioni sono importanti, occorre seguirle. Era ben protetta, non sarebbe mai più cascata, non si sarebbe più fatta male. Sotto il doppio mento, un crocifisso affondava nella carne, sparendo quasi del tutto come una lama."







    Text, music and drawings by Andrea Kantos
    Un ringraziamento ad Alessandra Russo e Laura Carter per la traduzione in inglese
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