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  • I had been sleeping for just over 3 hours when I heard my cell phone vibrate. Being that I am very much so part of the Millennial generation and find it next to impossible to be more than five feet away from my cell phone, I had to check it. Blindly reaching over for my phone I pawed around my bedside table:

    Alarm clock, no.

    Glasses, no.

    Super classy mouth guard, embarrassingly no.

    Cell phone, yes. Finally.

    Pulling the glowing rectangle to my face I began to squint (partly due to the fact that my eyes were not well adjusted to the bright florescence of a smart phone, and also jointly due to the fact that your vision is just simply better when you squint – scientific fact.) When I finally realized whom the late night message was from I jolted up to a complete ninety-degree angle.

    My ex fucking boyfriend.

    Perfect, just perfect. This is exactly what I like to wake up to in the middle of the night. I can’t think of a better disturbance for my REM cycle. Being that I hadn’t talked to him since I ended our lack of a relationship nearly a year ago, I was truly puzzled as to what this nocturnal notification could entail.


    “Hey I had a really bad day today and it just reminded me of you. Hope all is well.”

    All was well - at least until I was rudely awakened! Exactly what the fuck did he mean? Him being reminded of me because he had a bad day? Is this an insult? I mulled over the text message for a few more minutes, over-analyzing the shit out of it, and finally came to the conclusion. This was his way of attempting compassion, at least I think, at least that’s what I told myself. For all I knew it could’ve very well just been a drunken text meant for somebody else entirely. I decided to stop thinking about it, go back to bed, and respond with the first thing I could think of:

    “Who is this?”

    Done and done.
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