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  • And when the first Neanderthal
    A mammoth hunt did mount,
    There was Sid – eternal Sid,
    Selling rocks at a discount.

    For death it was his livelihood.
    And war it was his trade.
    The more they fought and bled and died,
    The richer Sid was made.

    He sold gleaming spears to Pharaohs,
    Which brought Hittites to their knees.
    He sold the Greeks their magic fire
    That set ships alight with ease.

    Sid supplied the longbows
    To the Brits at Agincourt.
    And weapons to the Mongols
    Of each known type and sort.

    ‘Twas Sid who cheered Napoleon on.
    When hostilities were begun
    He made a bloody fortune
    Off of World Wars Two and One.

    He served each grinning customer
    With dispatch and aplomb.
    Sid supplied the gaskets
    For the first atomic bomb.

    The Arabs and Israelis clashed.
    The desert filled with bones.
    But Sid could not be bothered.
    He was busy peddling drones.

    One drunken night he asked himself
    If the carnage that he saw
    Could somehow be averted,
    But he answered quickly, “Naw.”

    And when at last the nukes they flew
    And few preserved their hides.
    There was Sid – that crazy kid,
    Selling slingshots to both sides.

    Image: Grinning Skull by Crow_Janney
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