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  • There is a wildness that knocks on your window. It doesn’t want your words endlessly tirading themselves across the page. It doesn’t want your prayers. It laughs at your offerings. There is only one thing that will satisfy it. And it requires a kind of death.
    It deals in blood and bones, sweat, skin and eyelashes. It counts the molecules under your tongue, the broken lines across your brow, the crinkles and cracks in your heels. It caresses itself across your body, etches its way into the little crevices, the corners, damp and secret. It tucks itself there, lies waiting for you to give it permission.
    Dormant and restless it becomes anger, a slight irritability, a grim smile, a contorted frown. It begins to give a hard edge to your nights. You cannot sleep and in your dreams you jump out windows. Left still, it begins to rumble, crumbling under the weight of your suppression. It doesn’t submit to medication. It doesn’t leave.
    There is only one way out and yet the scream you yearn to set free lies caught in the back of your throat. It begins to make itself known in joints and elbows. Your limbs become slightly unhinged and soon you are bumping into people on the subway. You are falling over more often than not. You are walking like a drunkard or you are skipping or you are crouching down in the middle of the sidewalk, unable to get up because the cracks have you hypnotized and people stare as if you have come unhinged. But you haven’t, not just yet. Still, the voice that says “it’s wrong!” is louder than the feeling in your heart telling you it’s right. Telling you it’s right to walk outside in the middle of the night, stark naked and raving at the moon. Right to crawl through tall grass and announce to the blistering sky that you are the next fallen Messiah. Right to dance circles in alleyways with addicts because you know your dreams are no more nightmarish than theirs.
    When did you begin to lose permission to do the things that make you come alive? When did you start living the lie of uninformed rigidity, start stifling the screams and echoes of a thousand ancestors welling up in your bones? You are more than anyone has ever told you. You are wildness. You are powerful beyond measure.
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