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  • After 39 weeks and 5 days, you are here!

    Our beautiful son. Our dreamed-of boy.

    On the night before you were born, I started to feel a bit funny, a bit different. I was teary for no obvious reason and that inner voice started to whisper, "He's coming, Kate, your baby boy is coming".

    I went to bed that evening full of anticipation that you would be making your journey in the next few days. But when I woke up at midnight, with those familiar crampy feelings, I knew I was in labour already! I tried to keep the exciting news to myself for a while, hoping your daddy might get some sleep for the work ahead. But I was too excited to stay quiet for long. After I told your daddy I was in labour, we cuddled up extra close and savoured those last moments together, just the two of us.

    Before long, those labour pains got too much for being in bed and I knew I needed to be upright. I tiptoed past your sister's room so as to not wake her, and your daddy and I set up our birthing space in the lounge room. We hung artwork made at my blessingway, we lit candles, we burned oil in the oil burner; we created a warm, beautiful nest for you to be born into.

    By 2am, things were well and truly moving along. In quick succession, we got your Oma to come pick up your sister so she wouldn't hear Mummy moaning, we called the midwives to let them know a baby was going to be born!, and we called your Aunty Wendy to let her know it was time to come along and be Mummy's other support person.

    For many hours, I was working you down through my body, meeting each surge with "Yes! Another one to move my baby along and closer to being born!" With our lounge room quickly filling up with midwives and my aunty and medical equipment, I needed a few moments by myself. I went out into our courtyard and moaned away in the almost-dark, staring up at the big moon which had been full only 2 nights previously. I felt so powerful, so overjoyed that this time, my birth was all the things I wanted but didn't get at your sister's birth - incredible support, a medical team I completely trusted, faith in myself and the opportunity to be at my most vulnerable, most powerful, in my own environment. When I came back inside, your Daddy continued to massage my back through surges, we shared laughs and smiles in the breaks, and there was such an atmosphere of excitement.

    The same fears that appeared at your sister's birth appeared at yours, my darling boy. Fear I couldn't cope with the pain through to the end. Fear I wasn't strong enough. Fear that my fears would inhibit the whole birthing process. But somewhere deep down inside, in a place deeper even than my fears, was a knowing and a trust in my body, that it is perfectly designed for this process and with all of the support around me, it would do just fine. And it did.

    The 'fun' part of labour was well and truly over by the time the sun came up. It was all hard work, exhaustion and perseverance. Every time I didn't think I could go on, I would reach out to Daddy or Aunty Wendy and they would give me the reassurance that I was already doing this. I could feel you moving down, with so much pressure in my pelvis, but still no urge to push. I got your Daddy to come with me to the toilet and while I was in there, I felt the most intense, powerful gush - my waters had finally broken! And hidden beneath them was that elusive urge to push, which was now ON! Daddy and I moved back into the lounge room and I started pushing your big, squishy body out. What only took 30 minutes felt like 3 hours! I was feeling so frustrated, thinking there was no progress, when one of my midwives said, "Kate, feel between your legs, his head is out". And sure enough, it was! And what a big head you have! I looked deeply into your Aunty Wendy's eyes as the next surge arrived, knowing I could get through this final one to push the rest of you out, with her holding my hands and believing in me. You gushed out into the waiting arms of our midwife, to the amazement and delight (and relief!) of your mummy, daddy and aunty. I picked you up straight away and held you for the first time, a precious moment I will always treasure. I showered you in kisses and i-love-yous and we basked in those first moments of knowing you. Our son, Noah Kai.
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