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  • I guess I'll just record my thoughts on this site while I continue to lose my mind. You know, I'm not even sure I recognize myself anymore. My friend and I were taking pictures in the pool. I looked at my eyes and wasn't sure who I was looking at. Who am I?

    I invited my friend over because Dad left for the night and I couldn't stand the thought of being left alone in this empty house. One person against an army of memories marching through the halls? I would crumble. Right? But while she was here I just felt like I was entertaining.

    I'm not interested in friendship anymore. I'm not interested in anything. Not even animals - the one thing that has never waned in my life. Funny how emptiness can be so absolutely permeating.

    I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I get up in the morning and don't know what to do that day. And I sit, all day, wondering what I should spend the day doing. And then it's night, and I go to bed, wake up in the morning and do it again. I'm fatigued constantly and I nearly fainted the other day.

    I'm not sure what I think. Yet my head is spinning. I'm afraid and feel like a failure because I haven't been in school or work. I used to have direction. I knew what I wanted to do, and I had goals and plans to achieve them. Now, I don't know anything.
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