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  • A few weeks ago, Matt and I took a trip to visit with my daughter in Athens, Georgia. She was busy spending the first part of the summer up outside of Atlanta with her Dad. It was the first time that I had been away from her for so long and Momma needed to see her little girl.

    While she was up there, Matt and I had been having a real nice, relaxing time in the evenings without a 10 year old to entertain. We were able to talk about a lot of stuff.

    It was during this time that we decided that we'd like to have a baby. That decision is almost ALWAYS a big one - but for him and I it was like a little miracle. He'd never really seen himself having children and I had always said that the one I already had was dang near perfect and I didn't really need or want another child. I liked the freedom to run around and do more things as my Sweet T has gotten older and couldn't see myself willingly giving that up for diapers, diaper bags, sleepless nights, playpens, etc.

    One day we got to talking about it and it was just right there - we wanted a little us. A fat one, if at all possible.

    Because I'm a planner - we even worked out some of the details of juggling work and a new baby and it looked like it was sooooooo doable. We were excited. We ARE excited.

    We decided that this trip to Athens - just the three of us - would be a good time to tell Taylor that we were thinking of adding to our precious family.

    It rained a lot that weekend so we spent a little bit of time hanging out at the hotel - watching mundane stuff on TV when we weren't swimming in the pool or going out in the rain to watch a movie. Or eating.

    Taylor was on one of the beds and Matt and I were lounging on the other and I said to her - "Tay, Matt and I have something cool we want to tell you." She was all ears. I said, "We've decided that we'd like to try and have a BABY!!!"

    Her jaw dropped to the floor and she pulled the bed sheets over her head so we couldn't see her face.

    I immediately thought, "Geez. This is NOT going how I saw this play out in my head!"

    I asked her "What's wrong, Dolly? You can tell us. We're still just talking about it. I'm not pregnant or anything."

    She peeked out above the covers, eyes brimming with unshed tears and said, "I don't want you to die..."

    Matt and I both gasped a bit and I immediately assured her that each pregnancy is completely different and that the chances of me having the same complications that I did while pregnant with her were very slim.

    See, Taylor was due towards the end of June - but had to be delivered by emergency c-section in the middle
    of April because I had developed severe pre-eclampsia. She was 10 weeks early. She weighed 3 pounds, half an ounce when she was born. She had to stay in the hospital for 47 days before her father and I could bring her home.

    When she and I would talk about when I was pregnant with her I would tell her that we were so lucky and special to be here. That if our situation had happened 100 years ago - neither of us would have made it.

    I never meant to SCARE her with that story - I just wanted her to understand that she was a miracle.

    Evidently, she'd never forgotten our little talks. Her first thought, while telling her this sweet and amazing news, was that she didn't want to lose me.

    What a tender-hearted child I have been given.

    Once she was assured that this pregnancy would be a brand new experience - she was very excited by the thought of having a little baby in the house and being a big sister.

    We told her that Aunt Val thinks we'll have a boy and we shared with her the special name we've picked out to possibly use. She loves it. Every bit of it.

    Especially the part about me (hopefully) not dying. [I'm kinda partial to that part, too.]
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