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  • Dr. S: So, who’s our next patient?

    Dr. P: Poor chap, he appears to have had a very severe psychotic break. I don’t think we’ve ever seen one of this magnitude before. I’m not sure if we can handle this one.

    Dr. S: Really? What are the presenting symptoms?

    Dr. P: This patient, who likes to refer to himself as “Hawkeye”, claims that he communicates, almost instantaneously, with people from all over the world, everyday, and that he is part of this global “family”, or community, that sits around this mythical campfire telling stories. He’s really quite obsessed with this bizarre fantasy. He claims that this imaginary place is called “Cowbird” – imagine that! Where on earth did he come up with that name!?!

    While I was processing him in, he kept glancing down at his phone – one minute, he would be laughing hysterically, then he would suddenly grow very serious, and a couple times, he even cried. He claimed that he was actually at the campfire while he was sitting right there with me.

    Dr. S: I get the picture – we better put him on the maximum dosage of that new trial medicine that limits the creation of fantasy worlds and restricts out of control emotional reactions. Where is he now and what is he doing?

    Dr. P: He’s logged into the laptop at our vacant desk in the Intake area, and is typing furiously away, apparently “telling a story” to his little imaginary Cowbird/Campfire friends.

    Dr. S: Wow, he’s really gone over the edge, hasn’t he?

    Dr. P: Indeed – it may be too late for anything we can do to help him. He has apparently been permanently afflicted with that rare and dying disease, which we thought we had completely eradicated the world of, through timely and nonsensical programming on the Tube and endless, 24/7 News Cycles full of death, conspiracy, politics and mayhem.

    Dr. S: Ah, yes, that dreaded, dangerous affliction…Creativity! Poor chap – he may never be the same. Cowbird, eh? He surely has lost it completely. Let’s just lock him away, restrict him from using a computer or cell phone, and force him to watch the television at least 4 hours a day. That’s his only hope.

    Dr. P: Agreed. Next case?
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