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  • This is my boyfriend soaking up the last moments in his apartment after the movers cleared away his fifteen years of solitary nesting. He loved being a bachelor; he was really good at it.

    We live together now, in a home that has only ever been ours together, in a shared existence that challenges and rewards. Turns out he’s really good at this too.

    This photo for me captures the paradox of loving someone. It’s the life in them when we see them at their own things, complete in themselves, that draws us in. Yet we would have them turn away from all that and face us, compromise their singular ways of flourishing for a being-together that breaks into a moment like this: a man enjoying his own place in the sun.

    It’s a paradox, however, that can be kept carefully in the balance. I never want this image to fade away entirely – for either of us. Life is ceaseless renewal, this is its endless beauty. But a friend, according to Rilke, is someone who acts as the guardian of the other’s solitude.
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