My blood gurgled with insecurity as it coursed through my veins this morning. Jealousy, you have been dormant under the water line, haven’t you, waiting for just the right moment to emerge. I thought I had done the hard work of healing, had you beat. But you reared your fiery water dragon self before daybreak. Caught me off guard and surprised me.

But there was something different, this time around, that hasn’t been present in times before when the blood gurgles and throbs consuming questions of my worth.

I decided I wasn’t going back into the land of unknowing, invented back stories, and cowering fear. Early this morning, I turned and asked the fiery water dragon of jealousy this: “What do you want from me this time? Why are you here when I banished you long ago?"

And do you know what Jealousy, scaled and hollow, said to me? He said, “I’m here to teach you, although few stop to ask, and I will guide you to what’s important."

So I curled up on that big lonely dragon’s lap, stroking the now dry scales and said the hard thing.
“OK. Carve me open. There’s still work to do.”