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  • There she is again, riding my today like tomorrow

    ghosts never really ever drift away

    though I tried to give up this day

    I failed to find light behind sorrow

    I run towards slamming windows
    fall up grabbing at locked doors
    bleed down on my knees
    trying to find lost keys
    always in a wave to catch
    lost from view
    bereft of loving sound
    kept backing up a missing LIFE
    below the careless grounds of memory
    tears edge your whisper's dream
    that never let me go beyond the screen

    The smiles caught
    in passing touch
    held me before i knew I was meant to follow
    I still see your eyes to often to accept how we parted
    You left without me knowing too much
    suddenly this life is old
    I didn't ever learn right
    how to let you go

    The years have passed
    all of it leaving me in between
    making more life out of change in shadows than light
    stepping through the days without really living
    but not ever dying.

    I'm still suffering sorry
    that it wasn't me
    Wake holding this personal divide
    pray to some god out there in line
    to take me back
    Then of Now
    your lovely bright sunshine
    give up my life 30 years ago today instantly
    so you could go on living using my time

    No one saw how I became the ashes I was left to hold
    It doesn't matter that I shout her name
    not sun or wind or rain
    not moon
    I pray for a different sacrifice
    relive a story never told
    still without any living anniversary..

    cry shouting out there
    for her now
    still the same pain
    in being
    unable to follow

    hs
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