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  • Uncertainty brings clarity.

    As I look around, I ponder on other people's musings. I wonder what are their dreams? What makes them come alive? One new father, dreams of seeing his son grow up to be a successful, intelligent and creative man. Another dreams of seeing lost and lonely souls placed into families. A young girl wants to be continually adorned by her daddy. It all unfolds in front of our eyes. The heavenly kingdom that showers its sweetness on us, inspires us, drives us and makes us new. I see massive wings hovering above us. I realize not all are seeing what I am seeing. However, I am thankful for the large ceilings, to allow space for the gargantuan angels with us in this place.

    As we collectively sing to our Savior Jesus, I giggle because of God's playful presence. I giggle when he speaks to me in my own language, even when he calls me his baby girl. He has the words, I tell them, to make you whole. He has the words, you know, to make you new. You keep trying and striving to fit a certain standard, but he loves you just where you are. He is in you, he is around you, he is before you, he is next to you and he is behind you. The next steps that lie ahead are no longer scary, yet now it is exciting because you have a team cheering you on in the process. You have a father that is ever present saying, come this way child; You have the spirit that swirls around and connects you to the heavenly realms, and you have Jesus, the one who sticks closer than a friend. This time, he tells me, you can make the decision, and I will bless you. I realize I am no longer a baby needing to be carried, he is telling me to walk. It is freeing and almost causes me to fall over with the freedom he gives me. I stumble around, maybe stubbed my toe, but I start to take my next step. I do not know where I am going, but what I do know is this next step is going to be better than I can imagine.

    The uncertainty of not knowing what is next, allows me to look at my Jesus in clarity.
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