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  • A man living alone had posters and portraits of Hedy Lamarr all over the walls of his bedroom, and never tired of looking at them. One day God spoke to him.
    - You like Miss Lamarr, don’t you?
    - No use hiding anything from you, he said.
    -If you could bring back to life anybody, who would it be?
    -Need you ask, God! Hedy Lamarr of course.
    - Easily done, promised God, whereupon there was a knock at his door. The man was not sure, so he tiptoed to the door and asked:
    - Who's there?'.
    -What are you waiting for now? asked God, go show your visitor in.

    His heart beating like a tabla he opened the door, and a decrepit 86 year old Hedy Lamarr leaning on her cane dragged herself in.

    But seriously....

    Hedy Lamarr was a Hungarian-born Hollywood superstar in the days when that infelicitous expression did not exist. She specialised in the parts of ice-cold beauties, spies and femmes fatales. She was absolutely stunning in Cecil B de Mille’s Samson And Delilah, and no one had the slightest doubt that she would make Victor Mature succumb to all her whims. The erotic scenes in the film Ecstasy looked so authentic - and were indeed thought to be so - that her then husband (she had eight of them altogether) nearly asked for a divorce.

    But the expression, She isn’t just a pretty face, seemed to have been coined with her in mind, for this fragile beauty invented and patented a device called Frequency Hopping Spectrum designed to prevent torpedoes launched at German submarines being detected.

    Although she made a fortune, claiming that she had spent over thirty million dollars in her life, she died in relative poverty; she was even arrested for shoplifting once.
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