After the realisation of knowing that life was here for me, obviously that made me give up all ideas of committing suicide, as narrated in my first story.
Now...it was time to live.
To move forward.
To grow...but a simple question that haunted me was, "HOW and WHY and WHERE?!"
How and why and where do I begin?
What do I do when there are no feelings left within my body. I desire nothing, Im detached to most relationships, and material things have never been important to me. Not much excites me or even annoys me, no dreams or hopes for the future...everything feels shattered, hurt and destroyed?
What do I do?
I walked up and down streets, in many different countries and towns...all full of people, softly gazing at them in a wonder, 'if at all there was any other soul that could feel the huge amount of pain, like me?'
I wanted to connect, but to whom?!
I wanted to share, but who would really listen?!
I wanted to be heard, but HOW and WHY would anybody be interested, in my story?
Dose anyone even care?
A sharp pain wakes up every now and then in my chest, which makes it so hard to breath and the silent tears keep rolling down my cheeks.
Every Monday, 3pm session, my therapist says, "It'll be over soon. You'll come out the tunnel to touch the light at the other end, hang in there!"
Most days I wake up in the hope, for that day to be today.
AND one day I found Cowbird. A platform to share, connect and just feel alive. Knowing you are reading this, makes me smile...and for now that is more than enough for me to want to go on writting.