It was just me and the shit umbrella.
I had not christened it the shit umbrella.
Yet.
But soon it failed me.
I had left Primark with my purchase.
Never again will I choose my umbrella based on the question
Is it or is it not leopard print?
The rain fell heavily.
The wind gave chase.
I braced the umbrella, but the motion
Made it splinter.
Fragments of metal
Spikes and spokes
Useless fabric
All had betrayed me
The umbrella fell apart in my hands
I was going to get wet
Should I get my money back?
There was only one thing left to do.
I took the shit umbrella
And I shoved it
Very hard and firmly
Into the nearest bin.