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  • A is a woman about fortysome, I guess. She says that two years ago her son died suddenly in a car accident. Soon after her husband fell sick with Diabetes - Diabetes has grown into an epidemic in Mexico mostly because of Coca Cola. Mexico is the Number 1 - consumer of Coca Cola in the world!!! - Today he has a leg amputated and he is blind from Glaucoma because of Diabetes. Beside A sits B., who might be twenty years older. B. starts to sob while A. still cries and explains to the rest of us in our second meeting of our newly founded GRUPO VISIÓN that her son, a fine carpenter here in town, hurt his foot with a splinter and the wound got infected and would not heal. Doctors tried a lot of things and finally discovered that her son has bad Diabetes. They amputated the toe, soon after, just a few months ago, her son went blind and his kidneys failed, he is on Dialysis.

    As we are mostly a group of people with bad or no vision, A´s husband and B.´s son should have joined us, but as so often here: men send their wives and mothers to groups of this kind. I do not know if we can help the two women too much, but often it is just relaxing to tell your sorrow to someone else and be allowed to cry a bit.

    Several others from our first meeting last months are not there, but Sergio, Gabriel, the blind masseuse, and Eli, the blind psychologist have come. So has my friend the German composer who is discovering that he might be bipolar. The Swiss masseuse has come and brought a patient and his wife. The man is in his late forties and severely handicapped by Parkinson. He says that when he is nervous it just gets worse, he freezes. He is very nervous now, he confesses, but the longer he talks and we listen the more relaxed he becomes. He paints and writes poetry and next time he will show us, who we can still see and read to us, who can not see anymore.

    M. is there. She is in her early thirties and comes from Veracruz. " My grandmother was a very white woman," she tells us," but my father married an indigenous woman and out came I with my dark skin. You know how racism is here; my grandmother filled the heads of my cousins with bad things about me because of my dark skin. One day my cousins took a razor and slit my right eye. I lost my sight. But now you can see this thing growing on my left eye, I have had an operation because my retina got detached the pressure in the eye is high and this thing grows in my cornea. I am going blind! First I just wanted to die, but then a group of blind people in Mexico City asked me to teach them photography. I am a photographer. So I went and instead of seeing the light we felt the light and I loved that work and lost all my fear of going blind. If I really go there, be it. My grandma is dead now and I do not feel any resentment. I am an actor and painter and I work with the street children here or I go to the jungle and organize things with the kids there. I just love that."

    While M. talks her face becomes so alive, her eyes grow big, the joy flows out of her mouth with every word and I see her as so very beautiful.

    Somebody recently shared his Near Death Experience with me and made me go back and think about SOUL.

    Maybe in my center there is no black hole.

    Maybe at my center there is a flower just as my composer - friend hinted at when he said that behind the fear there is beauty like a flower....

    I listen to music which moves me deeply. There is a yearning. When I was younger I often thought that this was a sexual yearning. But it is deeper. It seems the deepest and most urgent longing of all: the desire to be recognized for this flower or pearl or jewel deep inside myself: my own unique beauty!

    We put so much Make - Up on, buy so many unnecessary things, eat and drink too much just to pretend that we are beautiful, instead of exploring this seed inside and water it and nourish it so that it can grow and blossom in its very own manner and way.

    I recognize that beauty in M.

    _______________________________________________________________________________

    Art by Kiki
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