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  • Walking through my house at night is always a journey. A long, treacherous journey. Slowly get up from bed, and scootch out from under the covers, once you are no longer completely covered by the heavy blanket protecting you from all of those "bad guys", get out of bed and run as fast as you can to the bedroom door. Open it. Rush out. Walk down the stairs on tiptoe just in case there is a robber downstairs waiting to kill you (by tip toeing you will catch him by surprise). Dash past the big window in the living room to alleviate some of the stress from the moonlight shining through; way too many horror films have death scenes that occur in the moonlight. Make your way through the dining room, and finally, after three sets of the chicken bumps and a mini heart attack, you're there. In the kitchen, it is crucial to turn on all lights. You never know what may be hiding inside of the pantry, and for arguments sake, it is much safer to assume someone is in there about to kill you, so, you turn on the light. Make your way over to the sink where you look around eerily... look out the window placed just above the sink and make sure that there is no movement outside. Grab a cup. Fill it with water. While you were doing all of this someone could have very well snuck into the house and be standing right behind you, so make sure to turn around as fast as you can and be sure to have your glass ready for battle. If, by the off chance, there is no one behind you, calmly walk back through the dining room and living room, conventionally "forgetting" to turn off all of the lights. Walk back up the stairs and pretend that you are not scared, after all, you did JUST conquer the kitchen. Open your bedroom door, but before entering make sure that there is no one in there waiting for you. If the coast is clear, enter the room, place the glass of water onto a side table and jump into bed (the jumping is a key proponent, in order to circumvent any animals or potential dangers hiding underneath your bed). Quickly throw the blankets back over you, cover your head for just a moment, then as your heart rate starts to slow, and you finally start to calm down, take one last sip of water and drift back off to sleep, feeling grateful that you don't have to leave your room until it is bright outside.

    But wait... you just drank a whole glass full of water. Don't you have to go to the bathroom?
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