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  • I sit under a tree and gaze into the park that lies in front of me. The Vienna skyline that this area of green overlooks is stunning.
    "I am so lucky." I think to myself.

    That feeling fades when I turn to my right and see the group of fifteen people around my age. Their jamming out to "Wonderwall" and having a picnic, watching the sun set over the city. It seems like they have all been friends for years; the typical story of growing up together and never leaving each others sides. Doing stuff like this is likely routine for them.

    I so desperately want what they have; that group of friends that you know always has your back, the crew that you can go skate to the beach with and have endless surf sessions, then end the day slack lining and star gazing. Chances are though, that void that lies within my soul will never be filled.

    People tell me constantly that I have everything and I can't deny the fact that I'm super lucky. I'm grateful for everything that I have been given. Always will be.

    Yet, I still manage to feel so many voids in life. When I tell my parents this, they either try and fail to understand me, or think that a material good will solve my problems.

    It won't. Instead, companionship, experiences, adventures and soulful living will. I am sure of that. I so desperately want to feel truly alive. Have emotion that's more than melancholy.

    I type this from Ireland; I'm studying abroad here. Taking the scariest leap of my life and deciding to do this was the most rewarding and intense emotional experience that I have ever put myself through. It was after my tears of overwhelm dried on my second day here that I realized that I have done the so called impossible. Waking up and not having a panic attack was simply incredible. Being here has made me feel free; I have a good group of friends, am in a position to make my own adventures and have found my Idahoean soul sister.

    But in 23 days, I head home. The idea of going back to the lonely days and nights terrifies me. I want to be around people that share my love of adventure. I don't want this to end. I want to keep on feeling free.

    More than anything.
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