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  • Truth conquers. And when I need to find the truth from among the trees of my emotion that are choked in vines and wreathed in fog I write out the pathway through. What I write will be neither beautiful nor elegant but it will be me. Here I will speak truth, as I know it.

    Why are boys--I dare not call them men because despite their age they are NOT men--so determined to disrespect you, if you are a woman? I told them then and I'm telling them now when a woman says no she means no. When has "no" ever meant "yes"? And when you talk to me and you ignore and disrespect my wishes--no I do NOT want a boyfriend it is not for you to say that I need one, no I do NOT want to date you, please do NOT follow me home--well EXCUSE ME.

    And THEN. If you PRESUME to tell me that I am "inconsiderate" that I am "roundabout" that I "lead you on" well BOY. I do not need to SPEAK to you.

    That is what I would like to shout from the rooftops in a sassy voice with my hands on my hips and my head held high and emphasis on the right words in just the right places.

    There is a saying from a book: "Fear cuts deeper than swords." And it's true. But words cut deeper than all of those and the words hurt. And though I wish to hold my head high and pretend I don't care, I DO. I care. And I feel worthless. And small. And insignificant. I feel like respect is something I will never receive, so I will always be alone. I want a partner that will respect me, that will value me, that I can respect and value in return. I want a man, not a boy. And men seem to be in short supply when you're nineteen.

    This is not the prettiest thing I have written. But it is true. Veritas vincit.
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