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  • The end of 2011 was near.

    Late at night on New Year's eve, we gathered in a small apartment. Keys that opened nothing (Decoration or weapon in the event of burglary, I am still not sure) and tiny paintings of exotic animals hung on the walls. On the door hung a sign that read, "Knock twice for Joel!" Everyone knocked twice.

    Beirut and Vampire Weekend (Don't judge us) played on the Mac as chicken wings, let's say cooked, in the microwave oven. Joel, our host and resident chef, slathered the packaged "tomato sauce" into a bowl, which was also cooked in the microwave. Thankfully, the mozzarella logs were treated with the oven. I took quite a lot of enjoyment out of fooling people into believing that the frozen chunk of sauce was indeed a tongue.

    Soon, we found ourselves sitting around the coffee table, playing a game which involved drawing pictures. The clear winner turned out to be, "A caveman who has a bad attitude and is a drag queen and lives in Lil Wayne's S&M Dungeon." I'll let you picture that in your head. I'm sorry.

    "Drink this." Someone pulled out an orange, rather shady, Mentos container and pushed it towards Joel. "Drink this." He repeated this chant many times, as if we all were about to take part in some sort of ritual akin to the passing of the island protectorship in Lost.

    "It's silly, fun, and silly!" The man on the screen was eager to sell it to us, as we sat there, already owning it. "It is so silly and you'll have a lot of fun because it is silly!" His voice rambled on, thirty years in the past. The commercial, as you can expect, was spot on. Funny Bones is a game that involved picking up a card and then placing the card between two people in an awkward way. Such as Your thumb-bone connects to their nose-bone! Silly right?

    Soon I was asking myself what the hell I had gotten myself into as my shin bone connected to an elbow and my head bone connected to another head bone.

    I have no idea how people survived the eighties.
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