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  • Almost a year ago today, I got a beautiful birthday card from my soul sister Christina, with a picture of my favorite little creature to seek out in the forests; the red eft. It said "find your fire."

    I've come to the conclusion that everyone has two selves. Their yin and their yang. For me, it is fire and water.

    The water Hilary is a laid back, go with the flow, keep to myself kind of girl. She stays out of trouble, and just kind of floats her way from one place to another, taking in the scenery.

    But then there is the fire, and oh lord, it can blaze. The fire Hilary wants to make shit happen and fast, like an animal fixated on their prey, my eye focuses to just that spot, pulls all my energy into my core and gets ready to pounce.

    I've spent a lot of time in the soft, watery place and it's comfortable, it's my default, but it feels aimless and my energy is spread. But as of recently I'm feeling the heat rising in my body, the blood pulsing faster and a tightening of my center - I found my fire. And yet like any new surroundings, I need to get my bearings, I need to learn to control my inner thermostat so that I don't overheat or burn those around me. I need to know when to blaze and when to flow and how to choreographic the beautiful dance of self mastery.
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