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  • i've heard it said before
    that cancer
    was a better affliction
    and i shrunk in disgust
    but now i'm realizing
    that cancer might just
    make them love you more
    and hold you tighter
    whereas, he is running
    and doesn't understand

    nobody tells a cancer patient
    to stop feeling sorry for themselves

    there's a plexiglass wall
    between my skin
    and the feeling of him
    and his hands
    and i'm not sure anymore
    if that's bad or not

    a bald girl is smiling
    at the front desk of the hospital
    she's holding her clothes
    and she hugs the secretary
    with ill poise
    as her weakened but sterile body
    glides towards the door
    and the doctors whisper to themselves
    about hope and remission

    i am a number in a waiting room
    of plastic orange bottles
    i am stamped black, purple and blue
    the woman behind the counter looks
    equally as behind on sleep as i am
    as she tells me about side effects
    of the hazmat waste that my brain
    requires me to consume
    and in the drawl of paperwork
    i wish to be the gliding girl
    so that someday there might be
    remission
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