My life seems to be divided into “before” and “after” my experience in the hospital in 2005. Even though I have been in the hospital other times, I have had other major surgeries, this time was extreme and left me changed. This hospitalization was an emergency situation. I had one of the most major surgeries you can have. There were complications. I had to be on a ventilator (breathing machine) for an extended period of time. I experienced long stretches of delirium. The experience left me changed. I see the world differently. My sense of what is important is more focused. I am more sensitive to stress. Sometimes my brain gets foggy when I am over-stressed or over stimulated. I have PTSD. Several people have told me that they or a loved one were similarly changed after a hospital experience. One friend told me his 3 year old son had a difficult hospital stay and when he got home, the boy was fearful and jumpy. My friend said his son was a “different person”. A man I know who was in an accident over 30 years ago said, “To this day, I am unable to enter a hospital without intrusive thoughts and severe anxiety. I became a completely different subjectivity following these events -- literally a different person. Lifelong depression and a sense of grief over the far happier person who existed before the accident.” Another person said, “My story, is very long. It exceeds the "event", but I know the "event" mostly colors my attention now. Even though I have "recovered", as you know, that is not an endgame.”