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  • I went to see a friend's concert. I hadn't seen her in a long time and I knew it was important to her that I be there.

    I got there just as her set ended. I said I was sorry. Her keyboardist told me it was okay, because he had another performance for me. We all went out back to the parking lot. He had a bottle full of gasoline, from which he filled his mouth. He clicked his lighter and exhaled a jet of flame that immediately engulfed his head.

    Someone called 911. Someone said to stop, drop, and roll. The rest of us tried to smother the fire with our hands.

    When the fire was finished, his burnt face turned towards me. It croaked, "That was WAY cooler than what I did on stage."
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