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  • I missed you, could not wait to see you, feel you, spend time with you. Five days/nights. In a row. A long stretch of night shifts for you, a morning person. So I let you be, knowing that you were there, down the hall and around the corner, doing your thing. I can wait now, I no longer feel that desperate compulsion that drives me to the point of breakage. I no longer feel like I will die without you, because I have you, even in your physical absence, I have you. That's because you're steadfast, one of the truest things in my existence.

    You never have to tell me. Because you show me. Everyday. In so many different ways. You're the reason I no longer fear my own company. Or the dark. Or monsters under the bed and in the closet. Or things that go bump in the night. You're the reason that I believe I'm enough, that I can do it. Whatever the "it" may be. You gave me me.

    When I ponder the time I spent with the monstrosity I ran away with, the one I left you for, I realize just how big your love is, just how loud it is. Many would have cast me to the deepest circle of hell. You did not. You struggled. I could see your pain so clearly. But you did not give up. Things have not gone back to the way they were. They're not supposed to. But you and I are a "we," once again. And you are ever as gentle and true as you always have been. And, having lived in hell, with the devil, I have learned just how precious and amazing you really are. And everyday we take another step forward. And everyday I receive one more portion of grace. And everyday I so very gratefully taste its sweetness. And everyday I remind myself that I did nothing to deserve this pure, sublime love of yours.
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