Sometimes one of them wakes up and sleepwalks into my bed. Their presence is special to me because on most nights they head for their mother's room. I've probably even had my adult feelings hurt a time or two by my their maternal preference.
On these nights though, my nights, we take a special trip to the kitchen together, come back and put on some music. Or maybe i light a candle. A few times we have even taken the dog for a middle-of-the-night stroll. It really excites Lyric to be up and on the sidewalk at 2 or 3 in the morning. Makes her feel BIG.
Mostly though, we just lay there and talk and laugh at things we'll never remember. We threaten to stay up all night. And we talk some more until they slowly start to slip back to the other place. I try and keep it going and both of them have been known to hush me with their small hands and tell me to close my eyes.
And this is my bedroom, my house and my life. It's different than i thought it would be. My room in the front of the house. Natalie's in the back. Theirs in between. The room that connects us. That and the foundation of knowing each other for 20 plus years and somehow still being the best of friends.
I still don't know what the next house will look like. I don't know if we will split off into two houses. I just don't. I think about it a lot and continue to be torn. For now though, my bed is one room away from the ones that fit in it just right. Once in a while it's even filled and the fear of what's to come is gone for a perfect moment or two. These occasional visits i get are the only ones i really need. For now.
-Audio from one night in October 2012