As I wrote in One Year Later, I didn't join Cowbird when I received the first invitation. But once I did join, I couldn't wait to get out of bed in the morning to begin writing.
This newly emerged and spontaneous desire to write is what I would call a 'significant detail.' A 'significant detail' is something that, when offered, sometimes almost as an aside, changes everything.
Because, you see, I had just entered one of those times in life when, at a conventional level, everything was falling apart. I was scared. Feeling lost. And I didn't feel drawn to using the key gifts I came here to give...centered on creating. I felt suspended between trapeze bars. Will I be caught? Or will I fall into the void?
I felt anxious. In musical terms, sharp.
I also felt depressed and feared becoming more so. In musical terms, flat.
In other words, I was oscillating and uncentered.
On some days I felt like I was drowning. So when the second invitation to join Cowbird came along, I grasped at it as I would grasp a life preserver. The timing was most definitely perfect for me. As I began writing and publishing my stories, I noticed that while nothing changed about my circumstance, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g had changed in my experience and attitude.
The nourishing experiences of 1) writing my stories and releasing them into the world and 2) connecting with the jewels of the Cowbird 'community' have both been so life-giving. So very important that, yes, I couldn't wait to get out of bed. Seriously.
That you didn't know my specific circumstances is an important part of the story. You were doing what it was that you needed to do, what you are here to do. You didn't know me personally and I didn't know you. Somehow that's also a 'significant detail' that changes everything. It restores my faith in our innate generosity, resilience, and desire to connect.
Many days I published six or seven stories. Even though I am not so prolific these days, I continue to sit in gratitude for this experience in my life.
Out of the ashes, the phoenix rises. Thank you all.
[Screenshot from the February 14, 2012 Cowbird invitation email]