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  • This morning over Skype
    I told my lover
    I bought a new dress
    more feminine then my usual
    'It's like someone took over my head'
    I said
    I bought this dress to wear for you
    He said 'show me'

    In my small room I pull the dress off it's hanger
    the computer impassive on the table
    my nerves prickle
    I put on the slip, do up the long zipper
    tie the black ribbon
    under my breasts
    substantial in red lace,
    they are what started this whole thing
    I find myself suddenly wildly regretful and shy
    thinking this is the definition of vanity

    In front of the camera
    feet in gym socks planted
    out of view
    My torso looks massive
    all curves and sentiment

    I try to imagine him
    hunched over a blue screen
    cheekbones shining in the dark
    in Taipei
    remember instead
    the length of his body against the sheets
    All the times I wanted to stare
    and didn't
    feeling greedy or incorrect

    Last time I saw his face
    he had a beard
    Like a farmer from the American south
    Or a blues musician
    Not my mohawk-ed art student
    A man

    I send the files one by one
    the wait is the distance information has to travel.
    Saying "it's old fashioned I am not sure if you will like it"
    perched on the chair shivering in winter
    the lace itches my thighs





    He replies.
    With a smile.
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