This day last year was my last time with my friend.

Jamiu, actor, writer, dancer, positive thinker, like a brother in the twelve years we were inseparable friends. He came to my house in the morning, we had tea, we talked about the future. He went home and hanged himself that afternoon.

I had not seen his state of mind. I had lost my mother a few months before. I had almost lost myself. I was emotionally exhausted. I, who always saw into his heart, hadn't truly looked that day. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to. It was fruitless to wonder if I could have made a difference that morning, but I carried guilt for a long time that was hard to unbind from my memories.

My memories of him though are all happy. He was sunshine on a rainy day. We trained together, worked together, met up, went out, made stuff, shared a wide circle of friends, we laughed a lot. He encouraged everyone to believe in themselves. He always had a positive quote. He wasn’t perfect, he could be stubborn and proud, but everything he did was from the soul. While he lived, he lived fully and put his talent out into the world. He was so much more than that last act.

Later today I’ll meet with our friends, and friends will get in touch with each other. We’ll share time, and we’ll remember Jamiu not for his death, but for the amazing way he lived. We can't keep people. We can only keep what they give us.