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  • "Please don't abandon me..."

    I've been wresting with this phrase for a while now.

    "Please don't abandon me..."

    I've felt like a monster. I've felt heartless, fickle, and cruel. I have hated myself.

    "Please don't abandon me..."

    I have been thinking about and saying it so much that it has started to lose it's shape, and I question its very meaning. How do we even use that word? One abandons a house. One can abandon a car, and children are (sadly) people who are abandoned.

    "Please don't abandon me..."

    One abandons something that needs constant watch, upkeep, and maintenance, something that needs protection and will fail without a caretaker. One abandons someone who needs to be taken care of, someone who cannot survive alone.

    "Please don't abandon me..."

    So, how can a partner possibly be abandoned? A lover shouldn't be a caretaker. A significant other shouldn't be responsible for the other's happiness or well-being. If he feels this way, then I suppose that I haven't been a partner. I have been a nanny or nurse.

    Thinking about it in those terms takes the sting away. I'll be fine.
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