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  • Everybody who can be infected by an influenza virus within a household will eventually be infected with it. The bug will just lurk in the wings until it finds the most perfectly inconvenient moment for descending upon you (like when you have a presentation the following day).

    A small body infected by the virus will be hot, feverish, cranky and lethargic. Of course it will demand constant attention and peep pathetically 'Hugs, please!' Naturally, when the hugs arrive, small bodies will wriggle and complain that you are too hot, that you are hurting them by touching their hair, that they are going to be sick NOW.

    The amount of sick that comes out of a small body is inversely proportional to the amount of food or liquids that above-mentioned body has ingurgitated within the last 24 hours.

    The distance to the toilet or other safe place for being sick is directly proportional to the amount of sick: the more to come out, the further you have to travel. The greater the chances that they will never make it.

    To every action, there is a reaction. For every loving moment of closeness and peace (perhaps even sleep), there will be equally as many if not more moments of panic, helplessness, confusion and sleepless nights.

    The difference in a parent's ability to cope with illness has a correlation with gender, although we have been unable to discover a direct causation.

    The ability of a parent to cope with days of illness will decrease rapidly with time, ranging from 100% sympathy on the first day, to 20% on Day 4, to complete despair and inability to see a lining (silver, gold or any other colour) on Day 5.
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